I'm not the bitch in this relationship
First of all this is NOT a picture of me. I don’t know who this bitch is, but she is not nearly as adorable as I am. And secondly, the only person who would be more awful to live with than my current roommate is that unwashed, muppet-haired, wannabe protester. If my name really was inspired by him then I need to look into changing it ASAP.
God, aren’t I adorable? Ignore the unwashed tramp behind me. She’s at a function, and she can’t even brush her hair.
(Source: catchinglighters)
1,964 notes (via nowhitenoise & catchinglighters)
Please keep updating! I hate Blake and love Penny!
Don’t worry, I am still fighting for Penny’s cause!
I know it looks like I am chasing after her, but I promise I’m not. The bitch stole my diamond studded collar, and I had to get it back. Her attention span is that of a 2 year old. She would lose that treasure in a second.
(But doesn’t my fur look flawless? Again, take notes, Baxter.)
Apparently people are spending thousands of dollars to get puppies related to me. Fair enough. But be warned, just because we share a bloodline does not mean these puppies will be as classy and regal as I am. I was the prize of my litter. I remember being forced to interact with some of my siblings in those early months and it was pure, disgusting torture. Its why I was willing to leave with Blake, as trampy as she is. And it is why I try to always avoid other canines to this day.
Also, I would like to state for the record that I do NOT approve of this long-distance relative of mine, Winnie whatever, tweeting about her daily activities. I want to see her birth certificate. No one related to me could have that little dignity. Have some class, girl. Maintain some mystery.
We can’t all be perfect at every moment, but I can’t be seen in public with someone who looks like this. I guess I could give you some pointers on making eye-contact with the camera. Call my people. See if they can pencil you in somewhere.
This is how it is done:
Nate Pops Up sent this to me, and boy am I glad she did. What a bunch of garbage. Sure, I am a bit of a diva, but can you blame me? Look at what I have to deal with on a daily basis.
But if you know me at all, you would know that 1. I would never be jealous of the giant mutt that the tramp has recently been associating with. If he wants to wag his tail and pant all over her, that is his prerogative. We all know I won’t be begging for her attention any time soon.
And 2. Why would I ever want to sleep with those unwashed miscreants in their nest of filth? I know better than anyone who has been in that bed and between Blake’s legs. I would never want to be near either, ever.
Sigh, the price of fame….
I was recently featured in a slideshow titled “Beauties and Their Beasts” with the tramp. First of all, I resent being referred to as a ‘beast’. I think I am definitely the beauty in our relationship. And secondly, I take great offensive to being grouped together with the likes of Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus. I know Blake doesn’t have very much class, but even she is better than those trailer-trash castoffs.
